Being Brave

On Friday I was meeting with one of my restaurant managers and going over edits to a flyer for an event she was having. For those of you who do not know me I work in the marketing department of a privately owned quick service restaurant chain. This means that I do whatever needs to be done to support our 39 restaurants and my boss (who I appreciate more than she will ever know). Going back to the story, as the GM and I were going over edits my phone rang and it was my OB's office. For what felt like a year but was only 10 seconds I debated on answering the call. I went back and forth between what was more important my job or the possibility of having a baby. Finally, I answered the phone not because one won out over the other but because they are both tied together (a post for later). I was as discreet as possible allowing the GM to look over my shoulder at my computer screen as I talked so she could continue to review her file. After I hung up we made notes about what she wanted to be edited. Then she said something that both terrified me and comforted me at the same time.

She told me that through my work with social media we were connected. She had learned about this blog and had read it. She then proceeded to tell me how brave I was and that she supported me. I dismissed this because I am an introvert and can't handle situations like this. Later as she was leaving she ran into my husband in the parking lot (again for those of you who don't know me my husband and I work for the same company) and she told him how much she loved my writing.

When I got home that night I was a bit upset. I didn't know how to be with this obvious compliment she had given us. I had such a mix of emotions that I didn't know which was right. After breathing and letting things set in for 24 hours I finally figured it out. I am writing this blog for me. I am writing so I don't go crazy. I really didn't expect for this many people to read it. Most of all I didn't feel brave. Actually, I struggled with the fact that someone called me brave. So like I always do I looked up the definition of brave. According to Merriam-Webster the definition of brave is to show courage which in turn means the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. Upon reading this I could understand why my GM said what she did but I still feel like I don't deserve the title of brave. 

To me I am just a woman who really wants to have a family with my husband. It doesn't matter to me if it winds up being ours biologically or by way of adoption. Also, if for some reason neither of those two options work out I will still have my family members on both sides to spoil. I guess in the end I am beyond honored that my GM thinks I am brave. For me I like to believe that I am learning to be strong.