Dear Amy

Originally tonight I was going to write about our second round of Clomid since it has recently ended (spoiler alert we are now on round three). I had the post all written out in my head and then I turned on my computer. My Facebook page automatically opened as it always does and there was an alert. I decided to read my alert before venturing away from Facebook and onto Blogger. I was really dead set on writing frantically about round two but something told me to slow down. Upon reading my alert I was told I had a comment regarding my 'being brave' post. Here is what the comment said "Barbara, thank you for sharing your blog post. I read aloud to my husband. We just experienced our 4th pregnancy loss, 2 ectopic and 2 miscarriages (no live births) and are struggling greatly (me doing most struggling right now)." The woman who wrote this lives 2,641 miles away from me and knows nothing about me outside of this blog.
I was stopped dead in my tracks. Here I am waking up every day having an internal battle debating if I can go on, holding back tears every time I hold a friends child, looking into my husbands eyes wondering when he is going to give up on his broken wife and then all of these childish and immature thoughts are stopped by a complete stranger. A stranger who is more like a sister to me than my own blood relatives because she simply knows what it is like to be me.
As soon as I read this comment I thought to myself how dare I for a moment think the way that I have. Wow, how dare I put those to shame who are like me by questioning my own strength. Really, how dare I embarrase my husband by second guessing his love for me and more than anything how dare I do or say anything that will cause someone to pause on their journey through infertility because of my words or actions.
Amy, I do not know you but I will tell you this...your struggle is my struggle. Your husbands pain is my husbands pain. Your child who is trying to come into this world is the best friend of my child who is trying to come into this worlds. We may not know each other but through our pain and experiences we are family.The same is true for all of us who are going through this. Amy, you are my sister, my best friend, my confidant and my mirror image. Please stay strong for me and I promise to keep going through this battle for you. Very soon our beautiful children will be here and we will introduce them to each other.